You have found a strange door behind the couch in the Strange Kids Clubhouse. You decide to investigate. In front of you there is one long hallway, while behind you is the safety of the Clubhouse. You decide to venture forth. Suddenly, you see a bright flash from the fanged maw of some beast and everything goes black. You forgot the torch, didn’t you? Eaten by the grue again? You did remember to save this time, right? You forgot to save? Aw, dammit! This review will enlighten you so that you won’t make the same mistake twice.
Welcome to The Dark Corridor, where bad movies are the grues and I am here to enlighten you so you don’t fall into their jaws. The first movie we’ll be tackling is a musical that fell under the radar when it was released in March of 2012, making only 86 dollars the weekend it came out… The Ghastly Love Of Johnny X. I’m here to tell you just how “ghastly” a mistake it would be to ignore such a juvenile delinquent from space. A black and white musical / horror /sci-fi film that takes place in the 50’s, The Ghastly Love is unlike any other film I have seen to this day. The musical numbers are catchy and the black and white cinematography is sharp and crisp. The closest film that anyone has been able to find to compare it to is Rocky Horror Picture Show and I think even that is doing a grave disservice to the film.
The Ghastly Love starts off with the titular space delinquent (played brilliantly by Will Keenan, known by his roles in such films as Tromeo and Juliet, Terror Firmer, Hisss, and Citizen Toxie) in a courtroom, put on trial by The Grand Inquisitor (Kevin McCarthy, Invasion of The Body Snatchers) for breaking the status quo. He stole an item of great power known as the resurrection suit, which gives him the power to control others and even raise people from the dead. He gets sentenced to earth and from there, it’s all singing, sci-fi, 50’s references, and West Side Story-like choreography.
As the story progresses it seems Johnny’s girl has her eye on a soda jerk, while Johnny has his set on Creed Bratton. Well, technically the guy’s name is Mickey O Flynn, The Man With The Grin, but he’s played quite brilliantly by Creed, whom most of you will recognize from the American re-imagining of The Office. Johnny’s girl escapes with the resurrection suit and Johnny is hellbent to get it back. I’m not going to spoil the rest because I actually want you guys to watch it, but it is well worth your time to check it out. After all, where else are you going to see a classic sci-fi actor from the black and white era of film, a Troma regular, and that one creepy guy from The Office in the same place?
I’d have to say my favorite thing about the film is the music. The musical numbers in this production are top notch and the kind of thing I would expect to actually see on stage. The diner scene’s musical number will always be the best one in my opinion (I’m looking at you, Bobbi, Annette, and Hope), but the drive thru number between the soda jerk and Johnny’s girl is also a classic. The real turning point of the film occurs following “What’s Up With Johnny,” which has the most catchy use of the word ‘bitch’ that I’ve heard in a song.
If all of this sounds interesting to you, you can find the film available for instant streaming on Netflix, though if you end up liking the film, you would be remiss not to pick up a physical copy to support the folks that made it. I give this film 5 torches out of 5, or Not Likely To Be Eaten. I hope you’ll join me again next time in venturing down The Dark Corridor.
